I want to get something off my chest cause it’s been driving me nuts last few days. Maybe you will get it, maybe you don’t, but here it goes:
My current boyfriend flirted with a trans woman online, and honestly, it’s messing with my head on a whole different level. It’s not just the usual jealousy stuff – it’s kind of complicated and I feel fucked up. Like, why a trans woman? Is he looking for something that I can’t give him? Does this mean he’s curious about something I can’t be? Sex is not good? It’s not just about him flirting, it’s this whole layer of feeling like maybe I’m not what he wants, like I’m missing something fundamental that he craves. And that stings in a way I didn’t think was possible.
I was scrolling through his chat messages. Yeah, I know, not cool. But something just felt off lately, you know? Like he was being distant, and I had this gut feeling – that annoying feeling you can’t shake off. And I saw it. He had a chat with almost nude trans woman on Ts Cams. It wasn’t just a friendly conversation. He was flirting. Complimenting her looks, making jokes, acting all interested. My stomach dropped.
First, I thought, maybe it’s nothing. Maybe it’s just friendly banter. But, honestly, it hurt. I mean, what does it mean? Does he want something different? Am I not enough? It’s messing with my head more and more. I never thought I’d be in this situation – questioning his feelings, questioning myself, my self-confidence is below minimum.
I’ve read people say, “Flirting online doesn’t count. It’s just fun, harmless.” But it doesn’t feel harmless when it’s your loved person doing it, right? It feels like a betrayal, even if it’s just some words on a screen. He’s supposed to be with me and divide all his love to me only. And here he is, giving attention to someone else. It’s not just about her being trans cam girl, either. It’s the fact he’s out there making someone else feel special while I’m right here.
I tried to bring it up. I asked, “Have you been talking to anyone new?” He looked at me like I was crazy. Said, “No, of course not,” and changed the topic. That’s what hurt even more. He won’t even admit it. He’s acting like nothing happened, like my feelings don’t matter. I don’t want to fight, but I can’t pretend I didn’t see it. It’s like there’s a wall between us now.
I’m not angry at her. I don’t even know her. She probably didn’t know he has a girlfriend. It’s not about blaming anyone. It’s about how he’s making me feel. I feel ignored. I feel replaced. And I hate that it’s making me question myself—my worth, my appearance, everything. Why does he need someone else’s attention? Isn’t my love enough for him?
Right now, I don’t know what to do. Should I let it go? Should I confront him with what I saw? I’m scared of the answer. I’m scared that he’ll say something that breaks me even more. But pretending like everything’s fine? It’s exhausting. The thing that bothers me most is that it’s not another women – it’s a transsexual. Maybe he is lacking something in bed? I don’t satisfy him?
Probably, this is not unique situation, relationships are messy, and people make mistakes. But this one really hurts. However, I’m not going to confront him about what I saw soon. I think that the fact that it’s transsexual and not other chick, there is something deeper going on. Do you think this is the right move?